TRULY FULFILLING AND SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES ARE POSSIBLE


COMMON SIGNS OF A HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

So, how do you tell that your marriage is successful? With this blog post, I am going to unpack this question.

Contrary to popular belief, successful marriages are not perfect. In other words, they are not without their share of disappointments, disagreements and general discontent.

But having said that, you do find couples in relatively successful marriages. Now, what separates them to the not-so-successful ones? Let’s find out.

1.     LOVE BETWEEN SPOUSES

This is a no brainer. I can even hear you say, “But all spouses love each other, don’t they?”


From the onset we need clarity on what love means. There is a widespread perception that love is some warm, fuzzy feeling. Admittedly, some emotions are necessary but you can still love without any such feeling.

Let me elaborate. If you have been married for some time, chances are you no longer have intense feelings for your spouse like you did in the beginning. But does that mean you no longer love him? Of course not. If anything, you love him more than before.

Do all spouses love each other?

A fair question. But not all spouses love each other. Ask any divorcee, if you are still unconvinced.

Loving spouses show their love for each other in a number of ways. They care for each other deeply. They go beyond their level of comfort for each other and with relative ease.

Have you seen how a loving spouse cares for their sick wife/husband? As an example, this act is the personification of love. Spouses who do this for each other, without complaining, do love each other.

This is, in fact, the cornerstone of any successful marriage.

2.     HEALTHY EMOTIONAL BANK BALANCES

Every time you either help someone or otherwise lessen someone’s misery, you are actually depositing into their emotional bank account. Likewise, when you disappoint or cause misery in someone’s life, you are making a withdrawal.

Obviously, for this to work, you need to deposit more than you are withdrawing. So, successful spouses do things for each other on a daily basis. And when life happens and there’s some friction between them, a healthy emotional bank balance minimizes the impact.

Successful spouses make regular deposits into this account. Both spouses go the extra mile for each other. They understand that an empty emotional account would spell disaster for their marriage. So, they help, care and support each other. This, in turn, strengthens their bond. The result? Two individuals with a profound connection marching to their own tune toward a common goal.

3.     REAL TRUST


According to Dictionary.com, trust is the reliance on the strength, ability, ability, surety etc. of a person or thing.

Now, why is trust such a necessary element of a successful marriage?? Let us look closer, shall we?

Marriage is a marathon, for want of a better term, and not a sprint. Marriage partners are in for the long haul. In other words, they are going to spend a lot of time together.

In a marriage, like in society, we do a lot of things with presumed trust. For instance, you trust that the soft drink you are buying has no funny ingredient/s. You trust that when you open a tap, water will pour out, don’t you? You see, we operate on presumed trust for a lot of things daily.

This is even more so in a marriage. You trust, I hope, that your spouse will not cause any deliberate harm to you. You put your well-being in your spouse’s hands. This is done without any hesitation which is how it should be.

It becomes apparent that it is next to impossible to do this with someone you do not trust.

So, there is a real need for trust in any successful marriage. But this trust is built. It does not happen overnight and does take some effort to earn.

CONCLUSION

The list provided is, by no means, exhaustive. But I absolutely believe that the three mentioned requirements are crucial for a successful marriage. These are, as a matter of fact, the minimum required.

So, love your spouse. Remember, this has to be demonstrated and not merely paid lip service to.

Secondly, make those emotional deposits on a regular basis.

Thirdly, trust and earn whatever trust needed from your spouse.

With that being said, if this blog post helps even one couple, I would consider it successful.
Click here if you have any trouble with your marriage.

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